Finding God Within
Lynne Elwinger, O.C.D.
Days lengthen. Temperatures rise. Summer greens the land once again, growing Spring’s seed-dreams into the harvest hopes of Autumn. Persistently, in spite of all obstacles, life pushes forward to maturity as if following an invisible directive or being lured by an irresistible reward. This exuberant journey of the plant world from seed to plant to seed once more, and the miracle of the processes involved, invite us to think about the gardens of our souls as well. How does a kernel of corn know what is needed to grow into a mature cornstalk? How do we know what to do to grow into the Divine Image in which we are created?
Created For This Inner Journey
As a seed carries within it all the potentiality of the full-grown plant, we have, planted deep within each of our souls, our Truest Self awaiting discovery. There is something in each of us – a part of our very essence – that seeks to know and be reunited with our Creator. We are created for this inner journey into God, who resides in our own hearts, and for the maturing of our inner divine spark, as surely as a bean seed is created for becoming a bean plant. What the plants do automatically, however, we must choose to do, having been given the gift of free will.
Although our human emphasis on externals, the pursuit of material goals, and the details and demands of ordinary daily life may obscure the inner call, we periodically experience those moments that take us out of and beyond ourselves. These may be occasions of great joy or beauty, times of loving encounter with others, or experiences of great pain and/or loss. In any case, we come face to face, however fleetingly, with a dimension of ourselves of which we were previously unaware. The traces of this encounter with God linger on the periphery of our awareness like faint strains of music or a slight scent of flower blossoms. We find ourselves longing for more of this indefinable “something” that at once feels mysterious and yet familiar. Having experienced our inner dimensions, however briefly, we have that vague sense of something “missing” in our lives, no matter how well they may be going in the outer world. Here and there, in unguarded moments, the glory within breaks through and ignites the flame of our longing for the sacred.
This journey of discovery is at once a delight and a terror. We instinctively know that we will be called to grow and to change and to go out beyond ourselves to unfamiliar territory. Some things will have to be left behind. Other people may not understand. In the end, we travel alone. But, once fixed on those signals from the center of our being, we begin to find ourselves inexorably drawn to greater and greater depths, to more and more profound encounter. Gripped by this great Love who created us, we find ourselves wanting to encounter and embrace it – to know and to be known. How do we begin?
God Is Longing For Us
The easiest way to start to receive the messages from deep within is to allow for times of quiet prayer each day. It is enough to simply be present, holding the desire for encounter in our heart, and God meets us there. It doesn’t require a special prayer format or certain words. Come without agenda, without specific expectations. Sitting in silent hope and assent (as in Mary’s “yes”) is more than enough. God is longing for us as much as we are longing for God. The two longings connect and mysteriously create a pathway along which God comes racing toward us as we come running toward God. We meet in loving embrace and our lives are forever altered. This is only the beginning of the process of our maturing into that divine image implanted within us, and it becomes the work of a lifetime. For this work we have been created. As with any relationship, spending time together is important. We may feel lost at times. There will be challenges. But for those who truly seek the God who is seeking them, the path is graced with every kind of help, and all heaven cheers us on!
Sr. Lynne Thérèse Elwinger of the Resurrection O.C.D.