Letting Go
Lynne Elwinger, O.C.D.
Letting go is easier said than done. It is also not as hard as we think it might be. When I entered Carmel it was October, and a friend had sent a card she made with a beautiful photo of fall-red maple leaves dangling from some branches. Underneath the photo she wrote, “Even the branches are saying, ‘Let go.’” My dance with detachment began on day one, and I wasn’t sure I was enthusiastic about the dance partner. Every autumn, the feasts of Ss. Teresa and Therese, and the thousands of falling leaves, bring back the memory and the message.
Although extolled by our Saints, there is something intimidating about the idea of detachment, of letting go, that arouses every fear we’ve ever had about not having enough, about not having our needs met. Ghosts of past unmet needs swirl about at a moment’s notice. In our culture, which emphasizes material things as keys to happiness, detachment sounds synonymous with deprivation. Suffering and hardship seem to be inevitable hidden partners in the dance of letting go. Yet this impression doesn’t seem to square with the testimonies of the early Christians or with what we know of the life experiences of our Saints. Could there be a different way to approach this autumn-call, one that is both inviting and life-giving?
The Christian walk continually calls us to open ourselves to the action of God’s Love in our lives. This invitation is to all of us, regardless of the external state of our lives. As we are open to the Divine within and around us, we correspondingly disengage from some of what formerly occupied more of our time and attention. Even though choices have to be made and what is no longer useful or harmonious put down, this does not have to feel like deprivation. We all make similar choices in the course of everyday living based on what we consider most important. In reality, letting go is more a process of re-evaluating our lives in the light of new insight and understanding.
Detachment involves an examination of our priorities, the outcome of which may be new ways of allocating our time and resources, and alterations in our focus and attitudes. It is an ongoing process as our spiritual understanding grows and changes. The more we are bathed in the inner Divine action, approaching life with a surrendered heart, the more we are inclined to disengage from what is not in harmony with our new understanding. There is a commitment of time and energy required for the reflection involved in this process. We let go of the lesser to be free to embrace the greater. We do this by our own choice and it shouldn’t feel at all like penance. It is more like what happens with lovers, artists, people passionate about their life and their work. God’s life in us makes Its own demands and requires that we pay attention.
The Courage of God
Throughout it all, we are supported and aided by the limitless love of God. In the current issue of Weavings, Robert C. Morris is discussing Jesus’ stance at his trial and during the punishments he endured in silence, in an article about “the courage of God.”1 Morris describes an insight received in prayer that Jesus was not a victim here, but “was…nobly, without fear, facing the enemy with courage and compassion, because he was rooted in a goodness deeper than the suffering. Even in the midst of suffering, the taproot of his spirit was deeply anchored in the goodness of God,”2 observes Morris. As each of us is drawn more deeply into the Christian journey into the heart of God, we, too, are inextricably rooted in God’s love from which we cannot be separated. As we develop skills in letting go of our personal agendas and in simplifying our busy lifestyles to make room for some quiet time with God, our lives can be transformed.
We Are Never Alone
Is this easy? Not really. Commitment and dedicated perseverance are10 (3 required. Is there often some transient pain or grief around what must be allowed to go in order to make room for God? Yes. The keyword here however is transient. Embraced by God’s love, we ourselves find the strength to embrace what is ahead of us. We are never in this alone! As we progress on the path, we increasingly recognize our own rootedness in God’s Goodness and Love. When we willingly allow ourselves to fall to the Ground of our being as autumn leaves trustingly fall to the earth, we, too, participate in a process of becoming nourishment for the present and future life of the world. Despite the inevitable challenges, this path, when practiced faithfully, becomes easier. We find ourselves gifted rather than deprived. Our beginning tears of suffering are turned more and more into songs of joy. Companioned by God and countless friends on the journey, we let go into the ever-expanding “more” of God. A surrendered heart can change the world, and certainly change our own lives.
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1Robert C. Morris, “Suffering and the Courage of God”, Weavings XVII,
no. 5 (2002):p.7.
2Ibid., p.12.
Humility and detachment go together. (St. Teresa Way of Perfection:)
Sr. Lynne Thérèse Elwinger of the Resurrection O.C.D.