Living Inside Out
Lynne Therese Elwinger, O.C.D.
Uncertainty reigns in the many intersecting outer worlds in which we live. It is more and more common for conflicting solutions to problem areas to dissolve into impasses of no solutions at all. As chaos, crisis, and confusion increasingly spread across the landscapes of our financial, political, and collective lives, it has become difficult to anticipate and plan for the future when we as a people seem to be walking more on quicksand than on solid ground.
And yet we each hold within us the firm bedrock where our individual lives and God’s Life blend together into one. It may take some doing to rediscover it, but this is work definitely worth the effort. Within every one of us is this inner refuge, accessible to each of us in our own unique way. God didn’t leave any of us out, or leave a long list of requirements for finding it. We’ve all been given keys to the many entrances to this inner ground. Our Autumn Saints, Teresa and Therese have shown us their own ways of arriving there and staying there. And the very fall season we are now in, here in the northern hemisphere, adds its own hints.
Place To Be Renewed
I have to admit that Fall is my favorite season. Probably this is because it provides so many lessons that I most need to hear to continually rediscover and live from that sustaining inner ground. More and more I am convinced that the only way to navigate the choppy waters of our current uncertainties is to live from the inside out. I have come to regard this inner place as a cozy den – a place to be with one I love, a place to be renewed and nourished, rather than as a formal parlor where strangers are entertained in more superficial ways. But it’s all too easy to let other activities and obligations shorten the amount of time I spend there. We all can forget that we need that inner time, not only for ourselves, but also to bring quality of presence to the other people and situations in our lives. It is not a selfish activity! I have found that resting in God is essential for living Gospel values, however imperfectly I do that.
Fall is a time to pause, to reflect on the lessons and insights of the preceding year. It is a time to take stock of what has been learned and valuable to keep, and of what can be cleared away to make more room for the inner part of our lives. I think this practice is becoming more and more essential if we are going to maintain our perspective and our calm faith-filled approach to life as a guiding force through these uncharted waters.
Future of God’s Providence
At this time of year, when the fields and gardens around us here in farm country are yielding their harvests and folding their tents to end another growing season, I find it easier to tune into this wave length in my inner life as well. The desire to simplify, to let go of whatever is not really essential, is supported by the cycles of nature and the rhythms of the rural life surrounding me. Somehow, despite all the troubles besetting us on every front these days, there is still that calm steady yearly sight of fields yielding harvests and then being cleared and plowed up in anticipation of the next year’s growing.
Farming is not only about hard work, but also about a lot of faith in the future of God’s providence, in another year to try again, in the enduring cycles of endings and beginnings that have brought us to this present moment.
The Gospel accounts note many times when Jesus went apart from the others and prayed. He gave us the example of living from the inside out as more of a necessity than a luxury. So I will continue to try to drop the spent leaves, and clear the fields of my soul’s inner life, to make room for the next year’s growing. I invite you to do the same.
Sr. Lynne Thérèse Elwinger of the Resurrection O.C.D.