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By Lynne Elwinger, O.C.D.

Suffering seems to be a universal human experience - one that comes up at every season of the year and of life, and for all people. It is a subject totally unpopular in our current secular culture, which either avoids or seeks to treat, to "fix" it, to make it go away. In some religious circles the distinction between suffering as a state of being and the experience of suffering as process is not always clearly made. In either case, suffering tends to be reduced to an object rather than a dynamic process. And the focus is somewhat displaced onto the suffering itself rather than on what is happening to the one who is experiencing the suffering.

 

A Life-giving Dialogue

All authentic suffering (which excludes ego-distress over not having our own way, and asceticism, which is something we ourselves do for our own spiritual purposes) can become a life-giving dialogue with God-With-Us. It can also be a journey of discovery of our own inner depths. It comes unsought, often not fully understood, out of our control, and we can't make it stop. Usually we don't recognize it as God's invitation to a deep encounter, which can very likely transform us, if we accept the invitation.

When we look at authentic suffering as a process, as a way God is revealed to us as One who wants to engage us in real dialogue, the actual specifics of the cause of the suffering become less important than the experience of the one who suffers. When we use our suffering to discover something more about ourselves and about God - as a time to engage in the divine dialogue - we make a journey of discovery that changes us and our lives. The journey may be made one or many times. It may be short or long. It may be intense or gradual. But however we do it, we are different at the journey's end. James Russell Lowell has said of mishaps that they "are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle." If we can grasp our suffering by the handle, we will most surely discover the God who is with and within us in a new way, one very likely to be transforming.

Are there guideposts on this journey of discovery? Yes, there are a few, though obviously experiences will be uniquely our own.

The First Guidepost reads: Identify The Cause Of Your Suffering. Name it! Look it in the eye. Don't hide from it or deny it or reproach yourself for having it in your life. This doesn't mean however, that you let it control or manipulate you. This is your journey. Just experience it to the full without running away or giving in to despair.

The Second Guidepost reads: Befriend Your Suffering. Embrace it! Welcome it as teacher, as the voice of God with a message for you. Listen to it. Feel it deeply. Ask it to sit at your table. Get acquainted. Love the "enemy" into a friend. Receive its counsel.

The Third Guidepost reads: Look Into The Mirror. Who am I, this one who is suffering? How is it that I am capable of suffering, of knowing there is a better way that life could be, that a relationship or situation or I, myself, could be? So often only hardship, tragedy, or catastrophe causes us to take time to think about this mystery of who we are, we who are created in the image of God. What does that mean in your life? Look closely in the mirror. What smudges do you see? Wipe them off. What unrecognized beauty do you see? Memorize it! Mirror-time can be a powerful place of transformation. Linger here. Carry out remembrances.

The Fourth Guidepost reads: Look At The Big Picture. Come out of the cave where you and your suffering have been getting acquainted. Stop at the scenic overlook and gasp in awe at the panorama before you. Our suffering connects us to God's suffering in and for us. It also connects us to all people, who have suffered, which is to everyone. Our suffering also connects us with the cosmos in which all things suffer to give birth to new life. Meet the God-With-Us who is always present and who never forgets us; this One who in fact pursues us, calling us by name, begging for our friendship. Encounter divine love. This energy is so vast it defies description, so tiny it fits in a human heart. See far horizons, other roads, and new possibilities. For one brief moment, experience the oneness of all life - God in you and you in God. Know that you will survive to travel further. Know that you do not travel alone, ever.

The Fifth Guidepost says: Thank You For Being Faithful To The Journey! Your faithfulness to the journey benefits the whole world. It will have a ripple effect you will never know about, perhaps making another's journey easier or even possible. Mary Vineyard has said in her poem Sacrament: "Beauty is a thorned path we walk. We bleed and our bleeding fertilizes the world." So it is too with authentic suffering.

The Sixth Guidepost advises: Go Home Now. Though we may take many journeys through this land of suffering we are not meant to live here. Find a way to connect with the ordinary things of your life again. They won't look quite the same because you will be different. You have made the journey.